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Enter the Madkat
Cast * Jake Clawson/Razor - Barry Gordon * Chance Furlong/T-Bone - Charles Adler * Callie Briggs – Tress MacNeille * Commander Feral – Gary Owens * Lieutenant Toby Furlong - Kevin Conroy * Fido Furlong - Heidi Shannon * Mayor Manx – Jim Cummings Guest Cast (in order of appearance): * Lenny Ringtail – Roddy McDowall * David Litterbin – John Byner * Prowl Car Officer – Hal Rayle * Katzmer – James Hong * Madkat – Roddy McDowall * Lieutenant Commander Steel – Hal Rayle Supporting Cast (in order of appearance): * Fuzzy – Maurice LaMarche * Guard – Jim Cummings * Little Old Lady – Tress MacNeille * Enforcer Dispatcher – Tress MacNeille * Ann Gora – Candi Milo * Enforcer Sergeant – Maurice LaMarche Transcript Fuzzy> And now, from the heart of Megakat City, here’s every kat’s favorite late-night comedian, David Litterbin! Ringtail> Noooo! Stop! Litterbin> Thank you, Fuzzy. Nice jacket. If it got any louder I’d go deaf! Ringtail> I can’t stand it! I should’ve been the King of Late Night! grunts Guard> Oh gimme a break, Ringtail. I know you wanted Litterbin’s job, but there’s just one differance between you two. He’s wild and crazy, and you’re just crazy. laughs Ringtail> Crazy?! I was a number one comedian! I cracked everyone up! Guard> Oh yeah, ’till you cracked up. laughs Now pipe down! Litterbin> Stupid kat trick number one! Guard> Now are you happy, Ringtail? TV’s off! Ringtail? gasps It can’t be! Ringtail> Heeeere’s Ringtail! Little Old Lady> Well it’s about time! I’m gettin’ liver spots out here! I’m gonna complain to the Megakat Auto Club! You shoulda been here an hour ago! Jake> Uh, we got here as soon as we could ma’am. Chance> Hope your battery’s dead. Jake> My pleasure, we’ll charge it right up for ya. Chance> Supercharge it right up! Jake> Chance. Now try it, ma’am. Little Old Lady> Whoa! Chance> Hey, she didn’t even thank us! Jake> Yeah, she’s probably home by now. Which is where we should be. I’m gonna miss Litterbin! You better relax, Chance. How about if who's gotta go this way to which? Chance> Oh no. Ja-a-a-ake! Jake> Okay, Chance, Listen up, Remember the rules, looks like it's my turn to watch David Litterbin, So sit back, kick then relax, collapse, and enjoy my show. Enforcer Dispatcher> Be on the lookout for Lenny Ringtail, escaped lunatic. Ringtail is extremely dangerous. Approach with caution. Prowl Car Officer> Hey, I thought I saw somethin’! Back it up! Eh, nothin’, keep goin’. Ringtail> chuckles Look at all this junk. Hey, this kat-in-the-box kinda looks like me. Katzmer> Hey! Hey, how’d you get in here? We’re closed! Ringtail> The door was open! What’s this? Katzmer> Antique, but not for sale! Plenty of other curios to choose from! Ringtail> But not ones with my face! Tell me more about it. Katzmer> scoffs Belonged to ancient jester named Madkat. He went crazy when other jester took his place. Ringtail> I can relate to that. chuckles Katzmer> Madkat was locked in a dungeon, but he vowed revenge against the jester who took his place. And the king, queen, and knight who imprisoned him. Ringtail> Oooh! I’ve just got to have this thing! Katzmer> Hey! I told you! It’s not for sale! Hey, are you crazy?! Ringtail> Something like that! cackles You’re alive! I MUST be crazy! Madkat> Oh you certainly are! And so was I. I guess madness just brings out the best in us! chuckles Come join me, Ringtail, and Madkat will live again! For revenge against ALL our enemies! Time to take center stage! laughs Litterbin> Now here’s one of the stupidest letters I’ve recieved in quite some time. “Dear David, fess up. Aren’t you one of the SWAT Kats?” Please. I hate flying! I’m so scared if heights I need a barf bag just to get into an elevator! Jake> laughs Oh this guy really cracks me up! Chance> Hey, easy buddy. Don’t cough up a hairball. Feral> Hmm. Maybe Litterbin thinks the SWAT Kats are a laughing matter, but I don’t. Litterbin> Let’s have another stupid letter, Fuzzy. Fuzzy> Huh? Litterbin> So who is this character? I don’t remember YOU on our guest list. Is this one of your surprises, Fuzzy? Looks like you have the same tailor. Madkat> Very funny. You’re the jester who took my place! I’ve been waiting years for this moment! Jake> I love this, laughs It's just so awesome! laughs Chance> Yeah, it’s not as funny as a Scaredy-Kat ‘toon. Jake> (mocks) "Yeah, it's not funny as a Scaredy-Kat 'toon!" (hits Chance) Chance> Oof. Jake> Okay, So if you don't mind, I'm trying to watch my favorite show called David Litterbin! Chance> (sighs) Mr. Jake. (Scaredy Kat screams) Fido> (laughs) ''You show 'em, Scaredy Kat! ''(laughs) ''Toby, look! I love this show! My big brother, Chance loves this show! ''(laughs) Toby> Ugh! Fido loves this show just like my middle brother, and now I hate this show! Fido> Did you see that guy whose pain in a tail? Toby> Yes, I know it, squirt. Even if Feral don't like this show too. Madkat> Hiya, folks! I’m Lenny Ringtail! But you can call me Madkat! laughs Jake> Isn’t Lenny Ringtail the crazy comedian who escaped from the loony bin tonight? Chance> I have to admit, he's a loony bin-like comedian who's escape. Feral> Kat’s alive! Ringtail’s announcing his whereabouts on TV! He’s even crazier than I thought! Litterbin> Fun’s over, pal. Get him outta here! Madkat> But why? We’re having such a ball! Right folks? Feral> I want choppers at Megakat Broadcasting Company on the double! And pick me up on the way! Madkat> But where are ya going, folks? The show’s just beginning! Jake> Hmmmph! Looks like me and my assistant who's trying to take care of this. Chance> Think Feral’s gonna be able to handle that crazy kat? Jake> Crazy Kat? No way! But the SWAT Kats can! SWAT Kats! To the jet! Chance> Razorman and T-Boy, Awaaaay! Madkat> Remember that joke you made about being scared of heights, Litterbin? Well, was it true? Inquiring viewers want to know! laughs Ann> This is Ann Gora, Kat’s Eye News. Megakat Broadcasting’s highest-paid entertainer, David Litterbin, is being held hostage by a crazy kat! Feral> This is Commander Feral! Let him go, Ringtail! Madkat> I prefer “Madkat,” Commander, but you can call me anything, just don’t call me often! laughs Feral> I’m warning you, “Madkat,” put him down! Madkat> Sure, Commander! Waaaay down! T-Bone> Deploy Grappling hook! Litterbin> Huh?! sighs Whoa! Madkat> Well excuse me! Upstaged by the SWAT Kats! Feral> Get the nets on him! Madkat> Sorry guys, it’s just not in the cards! As for you, Litterbin, you’re cancelled! Razor> Ooops! Looks like we're in trouble, now! T-Bone> Huh?! Madkat> So much for the jester! Litterbin> Help! Madkat> So, I’ll collect the king, queen, and knight, and then my revenge will be complete! chuckles Razor> Gotcha! Aww, not again! Aw, crud! It was an accident. T-Bone> Yeah, somehow I don’t think Feral’s gonna believe it was an accident. Madkat> Oooh, you guys are in big trouble now! T-Bone> Why you little-! Razor> How’d you miss him, sure-shot? T-Bone> Very funny. Callie> gasps SWAT Kats! Razor> Looks like the gang's all here today. Sorry, Miss Briggs. T-Bone> That crazy Madkat almost made us crack up. Callie> But what does he want? Razor> I dunno, Miss Briggs, but he won’t wanna meet up with us again! T-Bone> Yeah, ’cause next time we’re gonna play hardball! Madkat> Oooh, I’m so scared! laughs Ann> Even as we speak, Megakat Broadcasting executives are scrambling to find a replacement for David Litterbin. In the meantime, several guest hosts have been named. Jake> On second thought, Maybe if Litterbin got katnapped by a nasty Madkat. Somebody's made a mistake. Chance> Yeah, they should just show Scaredy Kat ‘toons late at night. That's fine for you, Mr. Jake, sir. Jake> Mmm hmm. We’ve gotta get Litterbin back from that lunatic Madkat! Chance> I have to agree, but this time that lunatic should have an ultimate revenge on us of all time. What a humor. Madkat> No need for a replacement, Annie! I can provide all the entertainment Megakat City needs! Ann> Madkat, w-where have you taken David Litterbin? Madkat> Well, he’s not on the tube, Annie, but he IS on the box! Litterbin> Help! Madkat> Now I have the jester, but my revenge won’t be complete without the king, queen, and knight. And now, I’m off to catch the king! Ann> He’s completely crazy. Megakat City has no king. gasps Just a mayor! Jake> Oooooh nooooo! Who's that Mayor Manx?! Chance> You heard us. Jake and Chance> Mayor Manx! Callie> Mayor Manx?! Manx> Ah, nothin’ like a quiet round of golf! No distractions. No phone calls. No one to tell you to fill in your divets! Razor> Um, Miss Briggs, Any ideas how to catch that crazy thing? Callie> To get that MadKat! That's it! Razor> (kiss) I think it's your turn. T-Bone> You call it, cutie pie? Callie> Madkat is going after Mayor Manx and I can’t get through to him! T-Bone> We’re on our way! Where is the Mayor? Callie> Where else? The golf course. I’ve alerted Commander Feral, but I’d feel alot better knowing you guys were there. T-Bone> Roger that, Miss Briggs. Katzmer> Commander! Lieutenant! I want to report a robbery! Toby> You see the robbery was a bad way to do! Feral> Inside. Ask for Lieutenant Steel. Toby> Lieutenant Steel? Katzmer> But it’s very important! Fido> Should we go talk to Mr. Steele? Toby> Maybe. Manx> Ahh. Oh, yes! Madkat> Nice shot, king! How ’bout trying it again, for higher stakes? Like your kingdom? Manx> N-now keep your distance! Madkat> Oooh, I’m so scared. Now, shoot! Manx> Anything you say! Madkat> Bravo! But I still win. Manx> But why?! Madkat> Because my ball is bigger! Feral> Better get in, Mayor! Fast! Madkat> So, the knight tries to save his king! But Madkat will imprison you both! cackles Razor> So, T-Bone. We might actually think it'll work with these claws. T-Bone> Lucky Madkat hates that screaming........Hope that Feral’s really on the ball today! Razor> Time to show Madkat our claws! Bingo! Rest in pieces! T-Bone> Yeah, Rest in pieces, Madkat! Razor> chuckles Bring us around, buddy. I wanna make sure we finished the job. T-Bone> belches I ate a a chicken burrito for a chicken dinner. Madkat> I’m a tough act to get off the stage! laughs Manx> Feral, I’m getting out of here! Madkat> Join the jester, king! Manx> Help me! Razor> Looks like that Madkat is gonna get a piece of a shortcut. T-Bone> Crud, Guess that Madkat bounced back! Madkat> And now to capture the knight! Feral> Come and get me, your crazy sicko! Madkat> That’s Mr. Sicko to you! It’ll be my pleasure! Just let ME get a set a’ wheels! laughs Feral> Huh?! Razor> Launch Cyclotron! T-Bone> Razor, you got ‘im? Razor> About to clip his tail! Aw, crud! Madkat> This should be good for a laugh! Razor> Huh? Where’d he go? T-Bone, I lost him! You see him? T-Bone> Negative. You lost him! Madkat> chuckles I’m closer than you think! Time to try out my Madkat Missiles! Razor> T-Bone! Madkat’s up here! But not for long! T-Bone> Heads up, Madkat! Madkat> Wooo! Razor> Good going, T-Bone! Looks like Madkat doesn’t know about Ejektor seats! T-Bone> Yeah, Screams like a bloodhounded fox! Madkat> Nice try, SWAT Kats, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve, too! Mind if I cut in? laughs Welcome to your new home, knight! Now only the queen remains. So you want some yo-yo action, too? laughs I like this game! Why don’t we see if you can save the queen? T-Bone> Crud! What is he talkin’ about, Razor? Who’s the queen? Razor> Well if Feral was the knight, and Manx was the king, then the queen must be- Callie> SWAT Kats, come in! What’s happening? Razor> Code Red! Looks like you'll be okay, Miss Briggs. 'Cause SWAT Kats gonna do, when the SWAT Kats gonna do. T-Bone> Madkat three, SWAT Kats nothin’. He’s got Litterbin, Manx, and Feral! Not to mention Razor’s seat. Razor> And unless I missed my guess, you’re next Miss Briggs. T-Bone> Razor’s right. But don’t worry. We’ll protect you. Callie> I’m more concerned about the citizens of Megakat City. With Commander Feral gone- Steel> I guess that leaves me in charge of the Enforcers, Deputy Mayor. Callie> Well just what do you intend to do about Madkat, Lieutenant Steel? Steel> If that crazy fool shows his face again, he’ll be arrested! T-Bone> Good luck. Steel> What are these two doing here- Razor> We’re Miss Briggs’ bodyguards. Sorry we’re late. I, uh, had to get my seat put back in. T-Bone> And I am not scared as a Scaredy-Kat! I like the cartoon show! My little brother, Fido likes it too! Enforcer Sergeant #2> Lieutenant! When are you going to see that kat who got robbed? He’s been waiting all day. Steel> Tell him to fill out a form! Katzmer> You’re the SWAT Kats! You can get my kat-in-the-box back! That crazy kat has set Madkat free! Razor> Madkat? Do you know how to stop him? Katzmer> Legend says jester’s power is in his fool’s cap. Destroy it, and- Steel> This kat is obviously a crank! Callie> You have any better ideas, Lieutenant? Madkat> The queen is mine! cackles Razor> To the roof! Callie> Let me go! Madkat> You’re going to join the king! laughs You lose! You didn’t save the queen! Razor> NOOOO!!! Madkat> That wasn’t funny! T-Bone> His weak spot IS his cap, Razor! Two down, one to go! Huh? Where’d he go? Razor> T-Bone! I guess it's time for a plan A! T-Bone> You got it! yelps Oh no! Madkat> Mmm, tasty! Razor> T-Bone! Nooo! growls I think ya choke on a hairball! Madkat> Ladies and gentlekats, then there was one! But I’m game! Why don’t we let a little roll of the dice decide who wins this fight? Razor> Fight? It's a piece of cake! Why don’t we let a little laser for a choose? Madkat> Noooooo!!! Razor> Bingo! Game over, Madkat. Feral> Looks like the game is over, Ringtail. Ringtail> I’d be crazy to give this up! Razor> What’s this? We’re seperated for one minute and already you’ve got a new partner, T-Bone? Steel> Commander! Lieutenant! The SWAT Kats have practically destroyed headquarters! You two are gonna pay for this! Feral> Button it, Steel! They also saved my life. Lt. Toby> Not that you care. Fido> (blows a raspberry at Steel) Callie> And my life! And I do. Manx> Don’t you worry, Feral. I’ll just raise taxes to rebuild your building, and your jet, of course, SWAT Kats. (Callie kisses Razor's cheek then Razor winks) (Scaredy Kat screams) Chance> (laughs) (coughs) Jake> Aww..I can't believe that Ringtail. Ha. Don't cough up your hairball. Can you believe that she's silly, Chance? Chance> Yeah, He's crazier as a wild dog. Or uh..like a fox. flips the channel No, Jake! Don't change it! Litterbin> Kats alive! I’ve got a show to tape! And no guest star, unless… My audience must think I’m crazy to have you on the show. Ringtail> Hey, you’d be crazy not to! After all, I’ll soon be writing a book called “Madkat and Me!” Jake> You really love this show? I love this show with David Litterbin. IT's a good one! laughs Chance> You didn't have to say it! Jake> Aaaawww, Too bad, Chance, Looks like I can watch my favorite show David Litterbin, and you can watch his own show for a next year. Chance> What?! A next year?! Ooooooooh maaaaaaan! (face palms hardly) Category:SWAT Kats episode transcripts Category:Season 1 Category:1993